As the daughter of a funeral director, I don't find obituary reading or pre-planning funerals macabre or odd at all. I've typed a lot of obituaries in my day. (For other people. And then we'd send them to the newspaper using a super old modem. Before that, I remember having to drive to the newspaper and drop off obituaries and photos.) And we used to pick our favorite caskets all the time as children.

I'm going to respectfully disagree with you on one point though:

"There's no need for people to lean over my not-there self."

There actually is a need. Family and friends - especially close family and friends need to see their loved one there. And it's such a comfort to have people come to a viewing to show that they remember you at such a difficult time. I've always maintained that funeral rites are for the living. They give us a sense of closure. And though I've told people that over the years, I didn't truly, truly believe it until my own mother died while I was living on the other side of the country. My brain didn't really believe it had happened until I saw her not-there self.

I certainly don't mean to be macabre either. Just food for thought. Though I think the brass band, poetry and music sounds lovely. In 70 years or so... *grin*

I've always liked the idea of a wake -- you know, a good send-off where people eat and remember me fondly, hopefully anyway. I don't think it's macabre, it's pragmatic. But, then, I might be overly pragmatic in all things, so I'm not the best gauge on this sort of thing. I like those poems, but I hope your near future is a little more level -- too much uphill, is just that, too much.

love that poem. I understand being too shy for a viewing. I am too! But it IS incredibly healing for the family. Maybe a closed casket viewing? The viewing is where I really felt people's love.

Oh, I totally have planned my own funeral. Many times over. The music changes with whatever phase I'm in. So be sure to remind Josh that there will be OTHER songs besides hymns. Okay? He seems to think you only need church songs. Not so for me. And I want good singers, too.

Maybe we could just have our own funeral wills typed up. I'll keep yours, you keep mine, and we'll pull them out for the husbands when it's time?

I have seriously not given one thought to my funeral. Haven't I done enough event planning? I just want to lay (lie?) there and hear people say good things about me.

I plan other people's funerals. How's that for macabre?

i, too, have planned my funeral many times. it changes as i change. both of my children are talented actors and musicians, so i leave the music up to them. but i've planned everything else so they can just grieve and miss me. (even though i know the busy work of planning helps, so maybe i'm just a control freak.)